The Lindenbergs

Be warned ahead of time, this posting is a little strange. Also, it falls under the category of a little "blue". So if you're offended easily you may want to skip this one. You've been warned.

Ok, now that I've peaked your interest....

Pierce was sitting on the toilet after going potty a few evenings ago. His business was essentially done, but he was taking this opportunity to explore his nether regions. Since the kid has so little access to this area on a day-to-day basis (he wears pull-ups at night and is not quite dressing himself yet) I thought it only fair to let him check himself out. That being said, there was more pulling, twisting, squeezing and rolling than I've ever seen -it looked a little painful.

At the end of this exploration the following dialog took place:

Pierce: Dad, my penis isn't getting longer.

Eric: Hmm, son, your penis stays the same size.

Pierce: No Dad, it needs to get longer.

Eric: (thinking, where is this conversation going?) Pierce, does you leg longer?

Pierce: No

Eric: Does your arm or foot get longer?

Pierce: No

Eric: Well, your penis doesn't get longer either. It stays the same size.

Pierce: No Dad, it needs to get bigger and bigger, and fatter and fatter...

Eric: ??!! (what in God's name has this kid been watching on tv?)

Pierce: (continuing) ... that way it will be big like yours and I can pee standing up.

Eric: Ah, well son, you can pee standing up anytime you want to.

Pierce: No, I think I'll wait.

Eric: Ok

Do I have a point with this story? Not really, but I really thought I was going to have to explain erections to a four-year old. Dodged the bullet this time...

-Eric (Dad)